The Exhaustion Chronicles, Part 1 of 39284902481

Well, I did it.

I gave birth to a full grown, 14 year old African boy this afternoon at 4 PM when Daddy W picked his nephew up from the airport.  I will be mummy and chauffeur and homework helper and God only knows what else every moment from now until May starting with getting him ready to leave for camp with his new class in the morning.

I’m fucking exhausted, people.

Turns out I wasn’t as ready for a visitor, especially a year long one, as I had hoped.  “Here’s your room! Now let’s get in the car and spend your grandmother’s money on necessities like clean, non drooled up pillows and pillow cases, socks, and clothes for you to wear to camp. And bright and early tomorrow morning?  We will put you on a bus and send you away for three days.  Tis the American Way!  Cheers!”  Nothing in the world makes you come out of your shell faster than having to explain to your new auntie in the middle of the Wal Marts that yes, you did bring enough underwear for camp because it’s tell me now while we are right here or forever keep your chafing to yourself.

Daddy W. has claimed that Nephew will be with us for one year as he goes to our international school to better his English.  I saw that the immigration paperwork is good for five years which would carry him through high school. I think Daddy W. is pulling a fast one on me.

Wunderkind is smitten even though Nephew is ten years older.  Wunderkind has not left Nephew’s side for one moment and lobbied hard for sleeping in the same bed with him.  “But mommy!  He has two pillows! Someone has to sleep on the other one.”  Nice try, little one.  Get your ass in bed.

Which reminds me, as we were taking Nephew to his first American out to eat dinner at ….McDonald’s (yucko) Wunderkind pulled out all of his nice words to welcome Nephew, including fart, poop and the perennial favorite “Get. your. ass. in. bed.”  which is used shockingly sparingly around here given his nightly bedtime antics.  Clearly, we do not use it sparingly ENOUGH.

So.  to recap.  14 year old nephew, here for 1-5 years like he is doing time with us.  Wunderkind is in love… hope that holds out.  And in other news, I have started round the clock Dayquil / Nyquil combos in order to combat the cold that took control of my face today while I attempted to teach 6th grade and caused my eyes and nose to simultaneously weep clear fluid. I swear the kids thought I was suddenly crying.  Nothing says I’m a professional like a weeping teacher.

Have I mentioned that I’m fucking exhausted?



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